What a Beyotch

30 Mar

 

Yaaah, I’m late but who the fuck does Beyonce think she is?! I felt insulted just by reading the title. I don’t think y’all realized what y’all just listened to. She basically just mocking all you bitches that suck her dick on a constant basis. Beyonce just told all her fans to bow down to her like they don’t pay her damn bills. Whore, I bought Dangerously in Love, B-Day and 4. You gone respect the fuck outta me.

Watch she blame this one on Sasha Fierce. Why bitches think they can have alter egos and shit? Like “ohhhh, my alter ego is a promiscuous, cocky little bitch, but me, I’m a angel”. I’ll cut you both.

Bitches ain’t humble for real, but then again it IS Beyonce. The only thing she can’t brag about is how good her husband looks.

Just stop being hurtful mother.

2012 in review

1 Jan

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

About 55,000 tourists visit Liechtenstein every year. This blog was viewed about 210,000 times in 2012. If it were Liechtenstein, it would take about 4 years for that many people to see it. Your blog had more visits than a small country in Europe!

Click here to see the complete report.

Guest Blogger – @tryna_be_famous (III)

29 Apr

Is LeBron James the Most Hated Man in Sports?

Now that the NBA Finals have started, it’s the time of year where usually, LeBron James puts in his worst work. At least, that’s what the media would like you to believe. LBJ has come to be known as a player who folds in the clutch, when in all actuality, he shows up more often than not. As a Detroit fan, I remember him scoring 29 of his team’s final 30 points to beat us. I remember the clutch shot he hit against the Orlando Magic in 2009. I’m sure Boston and Chicago fans remember what LeBron did to them in last year’s finals. Yet, the media would like for u to believe that he isn’t clutch. He passes too much when the game is on the line. He folds. He doesn’t show up. Would we rather him force shots that damage the team, kills chemistry, and for him to completely not trust his teammates? Or would we rather him make the pass IF there is a better shot in a clutch situation? I have said this to come to this: LeBron James is the most hated man in sports for three reasons.

1. The Decision

First off, I will admit that the “Decision” was in bad taste. Never before has a NBA player held a one hour special to decide what team would be graced with his “talents”. People say “Well people in Cleveland deserved better”. IT IS A BUSINESS! Do NBA GMs and owners inform all players that they are about to be traded? NO! How often does a GM trade a player get to decide what team he is traded to? Besides Derek Fisher, I honestly can’t think of one in recent memory. LeBron did what was best for him as a basketball player. He was not going to win a title in Cleveland. Free agents could not be lured to come there. Cleveland isn’t a big market, and players wouldn’t get as many endorsements as they would in a big market city. LeBron took a 2007 Cleveland team to the Finals that was full of great players like Anderson Vareajo, Daniel “Boobie” Gibson, Ira Newble, Eric Snow, Shannon Brown, Scot Pollard, David Wesley, Donyell Marshall, Larry Hughes… You know what, if I name one more player from that team, I may cry. That was the WORST team to EVER make it to the NBA Finals. THE WORST. You take LeBron off of that team, and I would be shocked if they won 10 games. But yet, him leaving those great, hall of fame players (sarcasm) that Cleveland liked to place around him leads me to my second reason why he is hated…

2.  Creating a “Super-Team” in Miami

When the “Heatles” first joined, I thought of an old wrestling stable in the late 80’s. They reminded me of the WWF (E) group The Mega Powers. LBJ would be Hulk Hogan. Dwyane Wade would be Randy Savage. Chris Bosh would be Miss Elizabeth. The Heat made the first TRUE super-team (I am not counting Boston because Pierce, Allen, and Garnett were all past their prime, thus not making them that super, even though they won a title). You have the best small forward, 2nd (or first in some people’s eye) shooting guard in Wade and a top 10 power forward in Chris Bosh. Surround them with shooters and they shouldn’t lose. LBJ didn’t make it any better by semi-guaranteeing titles there (Not 1, not 2, not 3…) This team led to the super-team that was built in New York, that was attempted by the Lakers (which is funny, because fans hated the super team idea until their team was presented with the same situation) Again, LBJ did what was best for him. He was courted by the Clippers, where he would have played with a Blake Griffin who was coming off of a knee injury. He had New Jersey and Cleveland, which was pretty much going from one bad situation to another. He could have gone to New York, but the criticism there would probably have driven this man crazy. Miami made the most sense. LBJ played up to his villain role, and became a different man than he normally is. Gone were the smiles and adoration, instead replaced with boos, jeers, and the classic jokes of Black Twitter.

3. Skip Bayless

More than anything, the biggest reason why LBJ is hated is because of “analyst”-closeted Lebron lover, Skip Bayless. Bayless works for the ESPN show First Take. He makes it his duty to attack LBJ for EVERYONE bad basketball decision his makes and discredits the good things on the court. This is the same man who feels LBJ shouldn’t be MVP because he plays with Wade. Yet, he thinks Kevin Durant should win, who also plays with Russell Westbrook. The same man who hounds LBJ for being unclutch all year, then when James hit 6 free throws in the last minute to beat Detroit, and scores 17 points to beat New Jersey, says “Well that doesn’t count”. The same man who calls him “The Frozen One” yet discredited LeBron late-game heroics against Boston and Chicago last year. In many fans mind, LBJ is the King sitting on a fictional throne, and I don’t blame them. But I say to that, Michael Jordan was “Air” Jordan before he won a title (That wasn’t a comparison of their games, just the nickname myth). LeBron James will forever be hated. All great athletes are. But over the past 2 years, LeBron James has become the most HATED man in sports. You can even make a slim case that LBJ is underrated, solely on all the hate he receives that causes fans to discredit his stats. I believe this is LeBron’s year to win the title. As a NBA fan, I hope he wins it. As a Detroit Pistons fan, I hope every team in the Eastern Conference lose. Either way, in 2 months, we will either see a King crowned, or possibly the breakup of the Mega Powers. You can take that to the bank, BROTHER!

AND SHAVE YOUR DAMN HEAD!!!

Follow me on Twitter @tryna_be_famous and prosper.

Guest Blogger – @CheckYaDM

28 Apr

What’s Beef?

What’s beef?
Beef is when you need two gats to go to sleep.
Beef is when your moms ain’t safe up in the streets.
Beef is when I see you, guaranteed to be an ICU.

… Or at least that’s what I thought it was. I thought beef was a life for thugs and hoodlums. Cold blooded killers. KILLA CAM KILLA KILLA KILLA. I guess that was in the nineties before the creation of social networking and all media forms surrounding it. Before Joe Budden wept real internet thug tears. In an instant words can become heated spurs, insults and threats and moments later, that same heated argument just minutes before becomes a whisper in the digital world. The hostility however will linger… waiting for the next argument. Then a series of arguments and thus the beef is born.

I, myself have been involved in many e-incidents in which I came close to almost having a full blown conniption. Only online, nothing has ever truly evolved into the real skreets. Either because I’m untouchable (I live too far) or it was almost 2 am (Thank JAH because I was really not trying to be rocked by grown ass men) and everyone was ready sleep. What is it about online commentary that makes people so angry? What is it about insults that appear on your screen that gets your blood racing and adrenaline pumping? I don’t know. I was asking y’all, what I do know is… People build confidence online. They feel they have become invincible and can say what they please, when they please. More often than not, a lot of these people don’t have an actual problem with you; they have an audience, not in all cases but in most.

Social networking becomes a part of your daily life. You become acquainted with people thousands of miles away or people you never met a 15 minute drive away. You share jokes with them, stories, events with these people. Some of them you get to know beyond the ones and zeros. Skype sessions, conference calls, I heard people are even taking planes to go to picnics… UH. I mean. …You befriend them; fall in love with them, and in the worst case scenario you get dragged off the porch by them.

I’m sure this has been a trend throughout the history of social networking. Facebook, MySpace, Blackplanet, Tdotwire, Mi Gente… Habbo Hotel; in which people have gotten into many altercations online. Twitter however takes things to a HNL. Hole. Nutha. LEHEL. Without missing a breath your entire timeline can go from calm and collected to World War 34566. If you blink you can easily miss the catalyst. One tweet here, one retweet there and a mention or even the passing of someone’s name will set it off. Personally, I know I can go off on a tangent with not much to back it up (I try not to but I mean….) and furiously tweet my insults away. Not stopping to think what the consequences could be. Many people don’t. This results in smear campaigns, personal and private conversations put out in public, nude photographs (if that’s your sort of thing), and at the most extreme people showing up to neighbourhoods and houses.

In most recent Twitter history, online “beef” has become actual real life “beef” and people being arrested. Girls are fighting. Guys are fighting. Guys want to fight girls. Girls want to stab guys. It’s a hot ass mess. It has become a part of your life. Our lives.

The reason for your fights. For your stress and high blood pressure. A reason for you to worry about saying something that could get you ripped the fuck into. Twitter is no longer just Twitter. Social networking is no longer just online. Its offline. In your streets. At your door. So, next time you decide you want to go after that old Twitter flame or a former best friend who also has twitter, just to say a few words.. Just to let them know how YOU feel try to remember, if you end up on World star you will be arrested.

What’s beef?
Beef is when you get caught up in these Twitter streets. .
Beef is when your retweets catch a lot of heat.
Beef is when I @ you, guaranteed to be an internetbeeffortwo.

•    @_Roscoe vs @onmyNJbullshit

@_Roscoe actually showed up to  @onmyNJbullshit ‘s neighbourhood. I don’t know why. I missed it. I think the beef is now settled but I mean…

•    Bee vs Black Twitter and Friends

At least once every 2 or 3 weeks. I really don’t know what this Bee girl did too Black Twitter up until this day, but they don’t seem to be very impressed with her and will attempt (and sometimes succeed) to drag her, periodically.

•    Shawdy (Shawdy? Shawty?) Dread vs @MrrTerry

That guy with dreads wants @MrrTerry dead. That’s all that I know.

  • @GhostWritaMusic vs @JoeBudden

Well…. Even my mom who doesn’t use Twitter knows about this beef. Sorry.

And an honourable mention to the million others who have been the aggressors and victims of e-beef.

#FreeTashay

*Follow @CheckYaDM on Twitter for all the low quality nudes you can handle.*

Guest Blogger – @tryna_be_famous (II)

24 Apr

The Great Debate: The Black Mamba vs His Airness

In my mind, Kobe Bryant and Michael Jordan are the two greatest shooting guards in NBA history. Many people like to compare them because of the similarity of their games, body type, even their demeanor. So who is the better of the two? Really, it may be closer than many may think.

When Kobe joined the league, Michael was really at the tail-end of his career (even though MJ did make a two year reappearance that some would like to forget.) Kobe was the hot-shot prodigy that was gift-wrapped to the Lakers by the Charlotte Hornets (Vlade Divac for Kobe!?!? REALLY?) Kobe’s rookie season was spent playing the role of 6th man behind Nick Van Exel and Eddie Jones. Meanwhile, MJ was seen at the savior of the Chicago Bulls, as he was also gift-wrapped to the team (Portland, you wanted Sam Bowie!? REALLY!?) As a rookie, MJ averaged an insane 28.5 points per game. It was  clear he was ready for the big time. Meanwhile, Kobe averaged almost 21 points lower than that as a rookie, at 7.6 points per game. In fact, Kobe didn’t average over 20 points per game until his 4th season while never averaged lower than 20 points per game in any NBA season. In fact, MJ’s lowest scoring average for a season was 20.0 points per game, which came when he was a 40 year old small forward for the Washington Wizards. MJ also became a better scorer in the playoffs, averaging 33.4 points per game in 179 career playoff games. Now, Kobe isn’t a slouch either. He averages 25.4 points a game in 208 career playoff games. Both players are known for their abilities in the clutch (Hi LeBron) but MJ was slightly better because Kobe does have a knack for taking an ill-advised shot every once in a while. Kobe could have definitely scored more points, but he also played with the greatest Center of the past 25 years in Shaquille O’Neal, and Kobe never truly became a number one option on offense until the 2004-2005. MJ was ALWAYS the number one on his team, despite the fact that he played with the second greatest small forward ever in Scottie Pippen. Kobe not being the true focal point of the offense is the reason why he doesn’t have higher scoring averages, in my opinion, which leads me to my next point.

First off, this picture is from two years ago. I get it. Kobe’s career averages haven’t changed noticeably, but he now averages 25.3 points and 4.7 assists. If that helps. Again, scoring averages won’t be the deciding factor in my choice because, as I stated, Kobe wasn’t a number one option until well later in his career. But as you see, MJ was a better all-around player than Kobe. He averaged almost a full rebound, assist, and steal more than Kobe. Kobe is a great defender, but you can make a case that MJ was the best perimeter defender of his era. He would drop 40 on you, and make it his duty that you didn’t score more than 10. What is my deciding factor is that Award section. MJ had more accolades playing in a tougher era of players than Kobe. MJ regularly played against the Reggie Miller’s, the Joe Dumars’ and Isiah Thomas, John Stockton’s, Dominique Wilkins, Clyde Drexler’s, Mitch Richmond’s, etc. All of those players are, or will be hall-of-famers. Kobe Bryant has never had a true rival at his opinion (No, Raja Bell, you don’t count. No, Matt Barnes, you don’t count. No, Ruben Patterson, you don’t count) MJ put up better all-around stats and had an astonishing amount of accolades while also playing against an era with possibly the greatest collection of perimeter players in NBA history. Now, this isn’t Kobe’s fault, but it certainly doesn’t help him. So I would like to ask Kobe Bryant what my decision is…

Kobe Bryant is a top 10 player of all time. He may very well be the player with the most career total points by the time he retires. But when it comes down to it, he loses the battle of the guards against Michael Jordan. Michael Jordan is THE greatest player in NBA history. There is no question to that. Kobe isn’t quite in that discussion to be the greatest player ever (Bill Russell, Magic Johnson, or MJ are the only logical answers) but he isn’t that far from being there. So Michael Jordan is better than Kobe Bryant, although it is closer than anyone thinks, or cares to admit.

Thank you. Church, Tabernacle, and Based God be with you. Follow me on Twitter @tryna_be_famous and prosper.

Guest Blogger – @tryna_be_famous

24 Apr

Top 10 Greastest NBA Players Never To Get A Ring

Every player in NBA history came to the league with Two goals: Be the greatest ever, and to win many championship rings. Well it can be debated that Michael Jordan is the greatest player ever and we all know that Bill Russell has the most rings. Well what I want to do is give my PERSONAL TOP TEN of players who didn’t win a ring. I’m ranking the players by career stats, the era they played, number of Finals appearances, plus who I think should have had a ring but for whatever reason didn’t get it.

10. Dominique Wilkins

(1982-1994 Atlanta Hawks, 1994 Los Angeles Clippers, 1994-1995 Boston Celtics, 1996-1997 San Antonio Spurs, 1999 Orlando Magic)

“The Human Highlight Reel” Dominique Wilkins was a good all-around player, even if you only hear about his dunks. Wilkins averaged 24.8 points, 7.6 rebounds, and 2.5 assists for his career. He was Blake Griffin before Blake Griffin was even born. Unfortunately, he played in a era dominated by the Boston Celtics and Los Angeles Lakers for the first half of his career, and the Detroit Pistons and Chicago Bulls at the last half of his career

9. Chris Webber

(1993-1994 Golden State Warriors, 1994-1998 Washington Wizards, 1998-2005 Sacramento Kings, 2005-2007 Philadelphia 76ers, 2007 Detroit Pistons, 2008 Warriors)

Now most people will say “Chris Webber!? Really?” and they make a point. Webber averaged 20.7 points and 9.8 rebounds but he came into the league when Power Forward may have been THE premier position so he was greatly underrated. He is placed here for the reason that exiled referee Tom Donaghy admitted that the 2002 Western Conference Finals were fixed so that the Lakers would win. Webber never had another legit chance at a ring, save for an appearance in the 2007 Eastern Conference Finals with the Detroit Pistons

8. Pete Maravich

(1970-1974 Atlanta Hawks, 1974-1980 New Orleans/Utah Jazz, 1980 Boston Celtics)

There would be no Steve Nash, Ricky Rubio, Jason Williams, Rajon Rondo, any of those flashy passing type point guards if there was no Pete Maravich. Surprisingly, Maravich only averaged 5.4 assists for his career but he was a prolific scorer. He might not have been the first shoot-first point guard, but not many have been better. Unfortunately for him, he played in an era that had many great (what we now call super) teams and he was never able to reach the upper echelon.

7. Allen Iverson

(1996-2006 Philadelphia 76ers, 2006-2008 Denver Nuggets, 2008-2009 Detroit, 2009 Memphis Grizzlies, 2009-2010 76ers)

Allen Iverson was the best small (6 feet or under) NBA player ever. He had the heart of someone twice his size. In the beginning of his career, he was known for being a loyal, albeit selfish, player. We’re not here to talk about his downfall so I’ll get to why he is on this list. Iverson may have led quite possibly the worst team to ever make it to the NBA Finals. I mean, Iverson was the Pippen to his own Jordan. He was steamrolled by some guys named Kobe and Shaq. Whoever they are…

6. Reggie Miller

(1987-2005 Indiana Pacers)

Reggie Miller was the greatest shooter of his era. He is the man who would pull up on fast breaks and not dunk, but shoot 3pointers. Oh, did I mention he would be the ONLY person on that side of the court. Ultimately, Miller’s loyalty to the Indiana franchise caused him to never win a ring. His one Finals appearances, he was steamrolled by those Kobe and Shaq guys

5. Patrick Ewing

(1985-2000 New York Knicks, 2000-2001 Seattle SuperSonics, 2001-2002 Orlando Magic)

I hate how Patrick Ewing pronounces his name. It sounds like I am in the middle of cracking that Soulja Boy. *waits for it*…………. Anyway, Ewing was a solid Center, averaging 21 points and 9.8 rebounds a year. But Ewing played in the era dominated by Michael Jordan. The only 2 years the Bulls weren’t serious contenders, the Houston Rockets won the title. The New York teams of the mid-90s were so good that I am sure in almost any other era, he would have his ring.

4. John Stockton

(1984-2003 Utah Jazz)

John Stockton wore short shorts. His entire career. A middle-aged white man in short shorts. Passing you balls. Yeah. But there is no denying that John Stockton may be one of the Top 2 greatest point guards in NBA history. But he also has the unfortunate pleasure of playing thru 3 different dynasties (Celtics in the 80s, Bulls in the 90s, Lakers in the 00s) I feel if he had joined the 2003-2004 Lakers instead of Gary Payton, they would have won the title ( But he didn’t, so they didn’t win. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

HA!

3. Elgin Baylor

(1958-1971 Minneapolis/Los Angeles Lakers)

First off, it saddens me that many NBA fans do not even know who this man is. This man is, in my opinion, the greatest small forward of all time. He averaged FOR A CAREER 27.4 points, 13.5 rebounds, and 4.6 assists. He was an 11 time all star, 10 time All-NBA first team, plus his name was Elgin. Just smooth. He went to the NBA Finals 8 times, which makes him not having a ring all the more baffling. But in the NBA Finals, he was beat by the Boston Celtics SEVEN TIMES, and once by the New York Knicks

2. Charles Barkley

(1984-1992 Philadelphia 76ers, 1992-1996 Phoenix Suns, 1996-2000 Houston Rockets)

He wasn’t a role model, but Charles Barkley was one hell of a basketball player. He had career averages of 22.1 points and 11.7 rebounds. He is another victim of the Michael Jordan dynasty. Charles Barkley made it to the Finals with the Suns before losing to the Bulls and Jordan. Barkley then joined the Houston Rockets, who were coming off of 2 championships in a row. The Rockets then fell victim to the team led by the number 1 player on this list.

And the number one player to have never won a championsip ring is…………..

LEBRON JAMES!

Okay, I’m joking.

1. Karl Malone

(1985-2003 Utah Jazz, 2003-2004 Los Angeles Lakers)

Karl Malone is the player, out of EVERYONE who doesn’t have a ring, that should have it. He has career averages of 25 points and 10.1 rebounds. And that is good, but he was a 14 time all star, 2 time MVP, 11 All Nba first team, and many more award. He led his time to the 1997 and 1998 NBA Finals when he was bested by Michael Jordan. Twice. Then he joined the Lakers to make it back to the Finals where he was again bested by a better team. Who? The Detroit Pistons. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HA!

So there you have it. Those are the top 10 players to never win a championship ring, in my opinion of course. Thank you. Church, Tabernacle, and Based God be with you. Follow me on Twitter @tryna_be_famous and prosper.

Fuck Steve Harvey

22 Apr

Before I even start, let me say that this “Think Like a Man” book is a Bible to reformed hoes.

A woman can certainly relate to a man without thinking like one. We should be complimentary pieces, not congruent ones.  If a woman is smart, she wouldn’t have to put on her male hat to figure shit out. Only a dumb bitch needs to process shit like a dude so that she as a woman can get the message. What genius hoe thought of reading a Steve Harvey novel to figure out the male species? That “think like a man” shit is just code for “If it’s good for men to do it then it’s good for chicks to do it” and that’s a silly way of looking at the world. If you need Steve Harvey (who is a fucking adulterer, might I add) or a movie to teach you anything, you’re far lost.

Steve Harvey doesn’t know your pussy struggles. This the same nigga who dyes his hair jet black, colors in his hair line and hosts Family Feud. That ain’t balling bruh. Anyone rocking Cab Calloway’s old suits and 2 failed marriages can’t provide me with guidance or hook me up with a soul. The game ain’t never that crucial.

I refuse to watch the movie adaptation of that weak ass book. I want to support black actors, but I don’t want Steve Harvey buying bright suits and odd hairpieces with my hard earned American dollars.

What happened to mothers teaching daughters? Since when is Steve Harvey adequate instruction?

 A man cannot tell a woman how to be a better woman. They can tell women what they want, what they like, why they are who they are – but that doesn’t make you a more capable woman. If women embraced more of their sacred feminine nature, and men did the same, relationships would be better off for it, because we’d all be comfortable in our own skin. Right now you have women acting like men, and men acting like chicks, and the whole thing is confused and messed up. 

And I’d like to add that just having your father in the home does not mean you will automatically get a lesson on what a man wants. You can have a cable box in your house, but if it isn’t installed then you don’t have cable. It isn’t enough to just be present.

 Maybe I should write a book. “Act Like a Cracker, Think Like a Nigga: A Handbook for Success in the Workplace”. Or how about “Act Like a Muslim, Think Like a Jew: A Guide on Keeping it Real in the Streets While Stashing Your Paper”? I’m pretty fucking insightful.

“Act Like You Know Me, Think Like I Won’t Remember You: How to React When You See Me in the Street.”

For starters, this whole ”think like a man” epidemic has hoeism on the rise. Women who attempt to think like men have hard vaginas and light mustaches. The day any type of Steve Harvey advice enters my cipher is the day I go apply for government benefits.

And not to get all soft, but this nigga Steve telling females to wait 90 days to get a dick slapped on your face but I thought in the bible (which Mr. Harvey claims to live by) it CLEARLY suggested that you wait to spread eagle until marriage.

Steve is a fucking traitor to the real nigga race. Women feel all empowered and wanna be like Joan from Girlfriends with her 3 month rule and shit.  “What are we?” mass texts being sent. Guess who’s gonna deal with that shit?

Think like a man and get slapped down like one. Steve about the be the cause for the Black Eye Movement that’s about to ensue for the remainder of 2012.

This rant is aimed toward you sour scalped black bitches. You don’t see white, Asian and Hispanic broads thinking like men and that’s why they’re getting married and we’re stuck in the projects with bastard kids and public assistance on speed dial. For the sake of a long, healthy relationship, don’t even make eye contact with Steve Harvey products.

I’d rather read a Derrick Rose essay paper. 

Escort this nigga Steve off the fucking premises. This fool’s ideology is bound to leave you broads old, vindictive, resentful and Waiting to Exhale type scorned. Any chick that swears by this man is giving you permission to cheat on her.  If God wanted you to think like a man, he would have made you with semen sacks and a pork sword instead of beef curtains so pipe the fuck down. No way in hell thinking like a man equates to thinking smarter so just halt. I have a solution to all this shit.

Most 2012 bitches just stopped learning how to cook like niggas don’t like eating anymore. Ain’t shit changed. If this ain’t you, maybe it’s your box.

Take your index & middle fingers and insert them slowly into your vagina.

Now smell them.

Now taste them.

Now do you see why you’re single?

Ding. Dong. The Witch Might Be Dead

22 Apr

Search for Nicki Minaj’s account on Twitter and you’ll see that it does not exist, just like her record sales for Roman Reloaded .

Not too much longer after her Twitter rant and deactivation, Nicki claims that she’s considering retiring from the rap game.

Just look at God.

From my understanding, Nicki retired from rap when she made “Stupid Hoe”…BUT on a better note, she inspired me to conduct a list of some lady MCs who raised the bar and some skirts to make their mark in hip hop and some new kitties who wouldn’t mind trying on Nicki’s crown.

I’m pretty positive she gets ass shots injected in her face in 2012, but trill still recognizes trill. 

She and @iRespectFemales should start a crew. 

This is what happens when your man comes home to a cold stove.

Only thing missing to make this a classic is Lil Mama and her bandanna shirts. 

*plays saxophone* 

She took Wyclef’s balls and made a scrotum smoothie. 

This bitch is just raw. Period. The type of bitch that’ll have a shootout with the police and use your grandma as a shield. Love her forever.

She’s like a sexy ass newt. God save the Grand Hustle roster tho.

Jean Grae and I are exclusively dating. She just doesn’t know me or this fact yet.

Snatching wigs and taking names baby.

Trayvon Martin (II)

20 Apr

Just a few points I wanted to express about the Trayvon Martin case. No particular order. No pseudo-activism. If you’re light skinned and under 6ft. I don’t expect you to feel me and we can’t engage in conversations about race relations in America. You aren’t a threat.

For starters, I hope everyone understands that by charging Zimmerman with 2nd degree murder instead of manslaughter, they have all but insured that he gets off. Unless there is evidence out there we don’t know about, he is not getting convicted of 2nd degree murder. 2nd degree murder has to prove “depravity” from what I understand. Manslaughter is a no brainer. It’s the old banana in the tailpipe move.

Sybrina Fulton [Trayvon's mother] needs better representation and just needs to be on hush mode until she’s needed in trial. Saying that she thinks the fatal shooting of her son was an accident was terrible and appearing on Bill O’ Reilly’s bigot ass show was even worse. You can’t convict 2nd degree murder off of an accident. If her goal is to see Zimmerman do real time, she really needs to shut up. Next thing you know Zimmerman’s people will piggy back the defense, claim it was a horrible accident, and he’ll spend 40 months locked up instead of life. The Martin’s need better handlers. That Spanglish speaking lawyer can’t be too much help if he can’t even master the language. He may be incompetent. He maybe somebody’s cousin. I don’t know but he’s a councilor he’s supposed to council the family on what to say. Lawyer fail.

I didn’t get my hopes up when he was arrested and now Zimmerman’s bond is $150,000. The black reaction must be hilarious to the judicial system. Zimmerman’s donations from his fuck ass website can easily cover his freedom. The fantastic part is that he only has to pay 10% of his bail so a murderer is free on 15,000.

Fuck Zimmerman. He has too much support for being dead wrong. Even if Trayvon did in fact look suspicious [LOOK suspicious] how do you justify killing someone who you THINK is about to do wrong?

I’m not feeling any of it. The stage seems to be set for Zimmerman to walk.

I wish that people cared about the dead bodies in their own zip codes as much as they did about the ones they see on national news. People are upset about this case and rightfully so, but they forgot about Troy Davis, Tarika Wilson, Robert Tolan and Sean Bell already. People don’t care about changes in their neighborhoods until someone who isn’t from their hood changes things. That shit is backwards as hell. I’m not saying don’t care about issues like this at all, but people bypass the same crucial shit that happens on their yard but will rally to the death for strangers miles away. Al Sharpton got y’all in fucking LaLa land.

The same shit has been going on in the black community for at least the last 4 decades. There are states in the Union where we are one vote away from bein 3/5 of a person again. When I see people talking about how it is now, it just means they don’t know their own history.

No matter what we do, we aren’t going to change stereotypes. Black stereotypes were not based on fact, were not created by us, and are perpetuated by a nation who believes in them. It’s a lost fight. This case is taking place in Florida. The same Sunshine State that let Casey Anthony skate. If we can’t get justice for a helpless, white toddler, the fuck makes you think we’re gonna get justice for a 6ft. teenage black male? Just live life and keep it pushing.

You don’t have to agree with shit I’m saying. I’m just throwing my 2 cents in the air and letting it hit the ground. You pick it up, that’s on you. 

Happy 4/20

20 Apr

This is the perfect day for snitching.

You’re going to see two types of people today: people who claim they smoke like it’s 4/20 everyday and people who don’t give a fuck.

I’m the latter. I’m above the muthafucking influence. I don’t smoke weed. I smoke fools like you on the basketball court my nigga.

BUT, being in the 4/20 spirit, I composed a list of some songs that make me want to fuck for free blunts, which what all females who smoke weed do anyway.

[*insert Wayne's signature lighter flicker drop and gay giggle here*]

I imagine the best part of smoking weed is all the snacks you get to eat afterwards.

White people make everything better. 

Perfect song. Cudi can commit suicide now.

The gooniest ode to Mary Jane. 

I feel like an ass whooping should have ensued.

$5 doesn’t seem like a lot but the fuck do I know?

*cue Dave Chappelle references*

The only nigga with braids that ain’t getting laughed at.

Lazy mouth motherfucker. 

The niggiest nigga of them all.

Oldie and still goodie.

The GOAT.

I like my bitches and my drugs white so excuse my lack of enthusiasm for this poor people holiday. All jokes aside, real and paid niggas do coke, so I need to collaborate with Bobby Brown on getting our own day.

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